i started reading from a young age.
i sleep on the lower deck of a double decker bed
& it's rather dark there.
daddy would always chide me for reading in the dark.

so one day he came home with this lamp
& attached it to the bed for me.
it was his way of saying 'i love you'.

i wish i had done little things like that for my dad too.
i'm so so scared that he thinks i don't love him.


i fucking hate myself.